Stern German Lady: How to survive the reign of The New Leader, President Trump

 

Let me tell you, I have had my share of autocratic leaders. I’ve seen all of them from Ottos to Wilhelms, to Hitlers. So to help you prepare for the future of your country, here are some tips about how to stay low and out of the secret police’s view.  

 

  • Keep your head to the ground.

 

This is not a moment to be proud. Lower your head. The new leader is a proud man and any with more pride will be subject to the pressures of The State. The State wants good loyal citizens, not strong individuals. Keep your nose in your work and be quite, little kinder. Work makes one free.

 

  • Step in line.

 

Why are you trying to be so unique? Does it fill you with joy celebrating things few people understand? The more you stand out, the more you will be seen as a problem; an oddity which requires special action. Maybe, instead of wearing your pajamas to work you come in a suit like a respectable member of your society. You may not be productive but the more you look like it the better.

 

  • Do not speak ill of the authority of the leader.

 

If you have nothing nice to say, lie. Lie and say you are happy with the direction of the country and the dealings of the new leader. If you say anything else a listener in the area might pick up on it and take you away from all you love. What is more important? Your voice or the safety of your family. Make the right decision.

 

  • Go underground.

 

Sometimes you cannot help but be hunted by the seekers of The State. When this happens, and it will happen, I suggest you go with the time honored act of going underground. With enough planning, an underground system of caves can be a dark savoir. While you get no sun light, you do get a number of benefits. First, The State Police does not have the technology to penetrate the earth and find nonconformists. Second, you can literally grow all the mushrooms you will ever need underground. I heard of a family that spent one –whole-year underground in Myanmar. Try and beat their record.

 

I understand the fear some of you might be feeling right now. I have gone through it about six or seven times. Let me tell you it gets better (as long as you are not selected as a person of interest by the police).

 

Für weitere Auskünfte stehe ich Ihnen gerne zur Verfügung,

 

Stern German Lady

 

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