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Stern German Lady: In a relationship with someone 30 years older

Dear Stern German Lady,

I’m in my late 20s and have a male companion who is 30-plus years older than I am. We were together for a while, then stopped so we could both try to find someone closer to our ages. Neither of us did, and we recently started seeing each other again.

Although we are good for each other and compatible in many ways, we are realistic that our relationship isn’t long-term for major reasons. (I want children; he’s happy with grandchildren. He wants to travel after retirement; I’m just starting my career.) We live for the moment and don’t dwell too much on the future.

My problem is, this time I’m really falling in love with him. Last time, I was reluctant to become emotional because I was afraid of getting hurt. But this time, I am all in. Can any good come of this? We meet each other’s relationship needs in the here and now, but is the end just heartbreak?

Loving Moments in Dallas

Dear Loving Moments in Dallas,

Love knows no age but there are certain things you must come to terms with while in a relationship with an older man.

The first thing you must realize is that your lover is going to die; probably tonight in his sleep. It happened to three of my four husbands. The forth I killed (a tale for another time). It is not your fault. The greater the age difference, the greater the difference in constitution. So while you may not be killing him with violence, forcing him to go jogging is as good as plunging a knife into his heart.

Since it appears you are ok with the possibility of waking up next to a dead person, you must then accept that you are almost 30, an old maid. It is time you settle with any man willing to love your ways. By your age: I had eight children, lost two of them to scurvy; married twice, both dead (I was found innocent by the village elders of murder); and hunted a werewolf. Needless to say, you are a bit behind. It is time to get your life in order before you are unable to enjoy the pleasures I just described.

There is no love that will ever end in happiness and yours is no different. Give it time and something anything you say that was good will turn to junk. It happened in my relationships, it will happen in all of your relationships as well.

My advice to you is to keep loving the one you are with as wolves will tear his face off tonight, probably.

Für weitere Auskünfte stehe ich Ihnen gerne zur Verfügung,

Stern German Lady

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