Last Minute Gifts, with the Stern German Lady
Hello, fellow peasants. Does the holiday season fill you with dread because of the amount of work you must do compared to the amount time you have to shop? I know you are working day and night until morning of the 24th. As I cannot sleep due to the wolves clawing at my cabin door, I have come up with some last minute shopping ideas for those who must work until the last minute.
1)A shovel. How much fun can a shovel be? You tell me when you are planting potatoes so you do not starve.
2)Perfectly planed wood. This can be found at most hardware stores. Use it to board up the windows for the next werewolf attack.
3)A faceless doll. It is a sin for dolls to have faces as it promotes vanity; besides children love dolls without faces. The lack of a face stimulates the imagination.
4)A hammer. Great present that go well with the wood but only if the receiver also was presented with nails.
5)Iron Nails. They bring the wood and hammer together in a holiday harmony.
6)Potatoes. You can eat them. You can plant them. Those are the two things.
There you have it, little ones. After work, on Saturday, go out and spend what little money you have collected and bring joy to your friends and family. Use that joy as a shield for the dark times are coming and bodies will need to be buried.
Für weitere Auskünfte stehe ich Ihnen gerne zur Verfügung,
Stern German Lady