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The 4 Best Black Friday Deals

The 4 Best Black Friday Deals

What are the 4 best Black Friday Deals?

I was up at two this morning, getting ready the foods for eating, when my family’s screaming electronic box shouted at me the “not to miss deals” of Black Friday. It was a visual and audio assault of wasteful consumerism about video games, clothes, and items of relaxation.  Seven hours later, after the food had been prepared and put in the oven, I found what I consider the 4 best Black Friday deals.

Campbell’s Soup


First, Campbell’s Soup is the greatest item ever invented by humankind. These cans are literally going to save your life one day. The flavors are unique and rich: Chicken Noodle; Chunky Chicken Noodle, Creamy Chicken Noodle. The list goes on but you get the point. Instead of a Nintendo Switch, get the people you love the delicious power to survive; Campbell’s Soup.

Weather Stripping

Weather Stripping

Winter is coming. The wolves are circling the clearing. The night grows longer. It’s time for Weather Stripping! I cannot begin to tell you how many family members I have lost due to a lack of weather stripping during the cold months of the year. You are probably asking, “No one wants weather stripping, they want a smart watch.” To which I reply, “Do they want to die? How is the glow of their watch going to keep them warm? They need to secure the cracks of all windows and doors so they do not wake with hypothermia.” Think of how dumb you will look dying of cold with your fancy watch.

Medical Supplies

Medical Supplies

Winter is a harsh master. Buy medical supplies! As the ice and snow grow stronger, so do the dangers of the cold. A pleasant walk could turn into a slip. You notice blood but you have nothing to patch the wound. The blood drips onto the ground, heat melting the snow; adding to and spreading the red liquid. The blood’s odor is carried by the wind to a pack of starving wolfs. They get excited and follow the scent. Before you know it, there is a wolf behind you and to both your sides. They want you to run. They find fun in the hunt. Soon you will be dead and all because you wasted money on a new screaming electronic box and not on important medical supplies.


Socks to keep your feet warm

I want a new jacket that barely has any usefulness in the cold? I like it because it is designer? Sound like anyone you know? Get them socks. Socks are one of the most important items of clothing in modern times. They keep your feet warm. If you didn’t have them you probably would not have many toes left. Not just one pair will do either! You need multiple socks, so when one pair becomes wet you can put on a dry pair. Many lives were lost until we gain that precious knowledge.

There you go

There you go. The four best deals I could find on Black Friday. Count the cost of my items versus all the high-tech and fancy items on so many lists this year. You will see that socks, medical supplies, weather stripping, and Campbell’s Soup are the only presents you need to be giving away this year.

Für weitere Auskünfte stehe ich Ihnen gerne zur Verfügung,

Stern German Lady

Stern German Lady has all the answers to all the questions of life. Write to her. She will answer all. 

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